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A Humorous Look at Life, as seen through the eyes of a fun-loving, middle-aged, somewhat cynical, slightly crazy Fat Chick.

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I can't be 50 already!!

The Red Light

My Golf Ball Sized Head

White Resin Chairs

My Camping Calamities

Martha Stewart of Mommies

Starting a Diet SUCKS!

THE GREAT ADVENTURE!!

Nelson and Wild West City

MOMZILLA Invades Jersey!

A Visit To The Bakery

(almost) Legal Disclaimer

The Art of Ostriching...

A Surprise Birthday Party

FAT in a Thin World

Blue Man Group Las Vegas!

A Chocoholic's Recipes

We Interrupt This Life...

September 11, 2001

I Kissed Rudy Giuliani!!

Hitting the High Notes!!

Harry's Anal Adventure

Ryno Meets the METS!!

Last Visit to Manhattan.

Wear Sunscreen!!

That THING in the Cage

SUPER-SIZE NOTHING!!

Do you ever wonder...

Animals Are People Too!

REFUSE to Grow Up!!

Enjoy the Journey of Life

Kids Kids Kids Kids Kids!

"Quotable Quotations"

The Last Laugh Joke Page!

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The "Good Old Days"?

LIVING IN THE PAST

The ABCs of Happiness

Tongue-In-Cheek Diet Q&A

Nature's Pharmacy!

Everyday Home Remedies

Think ENGLISH is easy??

 
WEAR
SUN-
SCREEN!!

 


"Ladies and Gentlemen of the Class of '99:  WEAR SUN-SCREEN.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, Sun-Screen would be it.
 
The long-term benefits of sun-screen have been proved by scientists,
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
 
I will dispense this advice now:

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
 
Oh, never mind.
 
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded.
 
But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
 
You are not as fat as you imagine.
 
Don't worry about the future.

Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
 
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; t
he kind that blindsides you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.
 
Do one thing every day that scares you.
 
Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. 
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
 
Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy.

Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.
 
The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
 
Remember compliments you receive.
 
Forget the insults.
 
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
 
Keep your old love letters.
 
Throw away your old bank statements.
 
Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
 
Get plenty of calcium.
 
Be kind to your knees. 
You'll miss them when they're gone.
 
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.  Maybe you'll divorce at 40. 
Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
 
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much,
or berate yourself either.
 
Your choices are half chance.
 
So are everybody else's.
 
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. 
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
 
Dance.
Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
 
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
 
Do not read beauty magazines. 
They will only make you feel ugly.
 
"Brother and sister together we'll make it through.
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there.
I know you've been hurting but I've been waiting to be there for you.  And I'll be there just helping you out whenever I can."
 
Get to know your parents. 
You never know when they'll be gone for good.
 
Be nice to your siblings.
They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
 
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get,
the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
 
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
 
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
 
Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths:
Prices will rise.
Politicians will philander.
You, too, will get old.
 
And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young,
prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders. 

Respect your elders.
 
Don't expect anyone else to support you.  Maybe you have a trust fund.  Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse.  
But you never know when either one might run out.
 
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
 
Be careful whose advice you buy, 
but be patient with those who supply it.
 
Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, 
wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
 
But trust me on the sun-screen."


Written by Mary Schmich and Performed by Baz Luhrmann


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