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A Humorous Look at Life, as seen through the eyes of a fun-loving, middle-aged, somewhat cynical, slightly crazy Fat Chick.

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I can't be 50 already!!

The Red Light

My Golf Ball Sized Head

White Resin Chairs

My Camping Calamities

Martha Stewart of Mommies

Starting a Diet SUCKS!

THE GREAT ADVENTURE!!

Nelson and Wild West City

MOMZILLA Invades Jersey!

A Visit To The Bakery

(almost) Legal Disclaimer

The Art of Ostriching...

A Surprise Birthday Party

FAT in a Thin World

Blue Man Group Las Vegas!

A Chocoholic's Recipes

We Interrupt This Life...

September 11, 2001

I Kissed Rudy Giuliani!!

Hitting the High Notes!!

Harry's Anal Adventure

Ryno Meets the METS!!

Last Visit to Manhattan.

Wear Sunscreen!!

That THING in the Cage

SUPER-SIZE NOTHING!!

Do you ever wonder...

Animals Are People Too!

REFUSE to Grow Up!!

Enjoy the Journey of Life

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The Last Laugh Joke Page!

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The "Good Old Days"?

LIVING IN THE PAST

The ABCs of Happiness

Tongue-In-Cheek Diet Q&A

Nature's Pharmacy!

Everyday Home Remedies

Think ENGLISH is easy??

EVERYDAY HOME REMEDIES

 
Eliminate ear mites!  All you need is a few drops of WESSON CORN OIL in your cat's ear.  Just massage it in, and clean with a cotton ball.  Repeat daily for three days.  The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing!

 

Did you know that drinking two glasses of GATORADE can relieve headache pain almost immediately and without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional pain relievers?!


 

Need to kill fleas instantly?  Just add a few drops of DAWN DISHWASHING LIQUID to your dog's bath, and shampoo the animal thoroughly.  Rinse well to avoid skin irritations.  Then say 'Good-bye' to fleas without harsh chemicals!


 
Did you know COLGATE TOOTHPASTE makes an excellent salve for burns?

 
Achy muscles?  Just mix one tablespoon of HORSERADISH with one cup of OLIVE OIL and let it sit for thirty minutes.  Apply as a massage oil to sore muscles for instant relief!

 

An easy solution for dog odor on rainy days!  The next time your pet comes into the house wet, dry him with a towel, then wipe a BOUNCE FABRIC SOFTENER SHEET all over his fur.  It will leave your dog smelling freshly bathed!


 

To prevent eyeglass screws from loosening or falling out, apply a small drop of clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them up!


 
Before you head for the drug store to buy a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a few 'Curiously Strong' ALTOIDS peppermints.  They'll clear up your stuffy nose fast! 

 
VINEGAR heals bruises!  Just soak a cotton ball in vinegar and apply it to the bruise for one hour.  The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process!

 

Arthritis pain?  Just mix 2 cups of QUAKER OATS and 1 cup of water in a bowl and microwave for 1 minute; cool slightly and apply to your hands for soothing relief! 


 

LISTERINE Mouth Wash is a great disinfectant for open blisters, cuts and scrapes.  Just dab onto broken skin and it will sting; but will heal in record time!


 
Do you have a boil or pimple?  Just cover the boil or pimple with Hunt's Tomato Paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring them to a head. 

 

Blemishes?  Cover with a dab of honey and cover with a bandage overnight.  Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile and you'll notice a big difference in the morning!


 

Hard to remove splinters need no longer be difficult to extract!  Just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue-All over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue. 


 

Cure urinary tract infections with ALKA-SELTZER. Just dissolve two tablets in water and drink at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly!


 

FORMULA 409 cleaning liquid doubles as a bug killer!  If menacing hornets, yellow jackets, wasps or bees get into your home and you can't locate the insecticide, spray them with FORMULA 409 and insects drop to the ground instantly!


 
Sore throat?  Mix 1/4 cup of honey with 1/4 cup of vinegar, and take 1 tablespoon 6 times a day.  The honey soothes, and the vinegar kills bacteria!

 
Do you have toenail fungus?  Soak your toes in LISTERINE MOUTH WASH.  The powerful antiseptic will leave your nails looking healthy again!

NOTE:  These are home remedies, based on personal experience and suggestions from friends and the Internet.  Check with your doctor before trying any of these remedies.  CelluliteQueen.com is not liable for illness, injury, allergic reactions or other damages. Author Unknown.


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