... why we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk inside of the garage?
... why we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?
... why banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
... why someone believes you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
... why glue doesn’t stick to the bottle?
... why banks leave the doors unlocked and the safe door open but they chain the pens to the counters?
... why you stop Microsoft Windows from running on your computer by clicking on the button marked "Start"?
... why lemon juice made with artificial flavor, but dishwashing liquid is made with real lemon?
... why the man who invests your money for you is called a “Broker"?
... why the time of day with the slowest traffic is called “Rush Hour”?
... why there isn't a mouse-flavored cat food?
... why Noah didn’t swat those two mosquitoes?
... why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
... why they are called “Apartments” when they are all stuck together?
... why, if flying is so safe, they call airports the “Terminal”?
... why they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
... why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
... why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
... why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
… whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
... why, if people evolved from apes, are there still apes?
... why no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
... why people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaners, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it back down to give the vacuum one more chance?
... why no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
... why whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table, you always manage to knock something else over?
... why we never hear father-in-law jokes?
... why we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place?
... why they sell hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight?
... why they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille Lettering?
... why we drive on the Parkway and park on the Driveway?
... why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
... why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
... why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
... why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
... why you can get a pizza delivered to your house faster than an ambulance can get there?
... why doctors call what they do a "practice"?
... why there are handicap-parking spaces in front of a skating rink?
... why drug stores make the sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy candy, newspapers and cigarettes at the front?
... why people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET soda?
... why you’ve wasted all of this time reading this stupid joke page? 
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